Sometimes it lasts when reading, sometimes it hurts : My short, rocky patch with #Milkman

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img_20180916_211156-01-2099681855.jpegI heard that you’re on Booker Longlist
That you’re a strong favourite, solid now

I heard, that you’re a dystopia
I guess you’d gave me things
Like others did to me

Good book, why sentences so long
Either finish the sentence
Or start a paragraph

I hate to DNF you like this, early unexpected but I
Couldn’t keep reading, couldn’t fight it
I had hoped you see my face
And that you let me go, tell me it’s over

Nevermind, I’ll go find some book like you
I wish nothing but the best for you
Forget me please, I will forget you,
Sometimes it lasts when reading sometimes it HURTS instead…

In Turkish we have a saying: You can guess how your Thursday will go beforehand, on Wednesday. When I read a sample of the #ManBooker long listee The Milkman, I kind of felt that way. Three pages in and my eyes hurt. So when I picked it up again last night, and kept reading and reading, had a premonition tucked in inside my heart and I peeled it layer by layer as an onion until the smell got unbearable. I dislike this book and nothing can be done about it!

I read 30 pages before giving up. Maybe my English failed. Maybe my intelligence. But trying to read this book was a literary torture for me. I kept reading the same, long sentences over and over, and nothing made sense. There is an unknown city and some unknown people, a Milkman, who we know nothing about, other than sensing he’s of a wicked sort. Then there is sisters, and Brother in Laws? The whole thing just didn’t make sense. Dystopia turned to Hysteria for me.  I’ve read somewhere that this book is about Irish conflict, maybe my lack of knowledge about that failed me in this book… I am only a poor Turkish-turned-British, and been living in the UK last 7.5 years…Wasn’t around here when that happened guys!!! Obviously I know the conflict and why, but I don’t know the details, and the Irish culture… I felt lost in this book and my head hurt. (My son’s 5 year old friend sometimes says that, at school pick up and it makes me laugh EVERY TIME, I get your pain now kiddo, feel it. It hurts!)

After my horrible date with this book, we understood that we’re not meant to be together, it’s not the Milkman, it’s me. There is only hours before the Short list announced, and now you know who I didn’t favourited for the shortlist.  ( *cough*Give the damn prize to Johnson or Ondaatje, otherwise I’ll be cursing you *cough*)

Time for a big warm glass of Milk, without the man. You are probably reading this in daytime, but it’s nearly 10PM now and this will be nicely scheduled.

Hip hooray! Although a did-not-finish, Booker list is one book down.

Not giving any stars- it’s just not my cup of tea.

DeterminedCalculatingAustraliansilkyterrier-small
Of course, completely bonkers.

 

10 comments

  1. This made me chuckle! I’ve had similar issues with so many Booker winners / long and short listed titles. I haven’t read this one, and I’m not sure whether to or not now! Love that cover though – the colours are lovely 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. BAHAHAHAHA I loved this!! Great work 😉 (and I feel like Adele would be proud) Man Booker books can be such a mixed bag, so no harm in deciding this one wasn’t for you – I can’t say I’m rushing out to get it and give it a go, tbh…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Based on the cover i expected something completely different!
    As one of my client put it “i didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t this” 😀
    Your review was highly entertaining tho! ❤

    Like

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